When I was growing up, my Grandpa Marshall was an avid reader of the National Enquirer. He would head to the drugstore every Saturday to pick up his copy, and then study it from cover to cover. This “newspaper” kept him up to date on Princess Diana and the Royal Family, and gave him the sound dietary advice that it was healthier for him to eat fried ham at breakfast with his eggs instead of bacon. As my siblings and I got older, Grandpa would hand over each Enquirer to us once he was done, so we could discuss the weekly gossip with him. Remorsefully, I admit that I haven’t read an issue of the National Enquirier since he passed away 6 years ago.
John and I do our reading with our iPads – via the internet. Every day we read for a couple of hours about Canadian and World news and events. This morning it hit me – much of what I am reading isn’t all that different from the National Enquirier. There are a lot of bizarre stories out there and for some of you who may not have the time to follow various papers, I thought I would share some of these recent newsmakers for your literary enjoyment.
Woman Dies After Downing 2 Gallons of Coke Per Day
By Matt Cantor, Newser Staff
Posted Feb 12, 2013 8:13 AM CST
Heavy drinking may have led to the death of a New Zealand woman—but it wasn’t alcohol she was glugging. It was Coca-Cola, TVNZ reports. She reportedly drank some 2.2 gallons (that’s 18 pints) of the soda every day, AFP notes, a habit that went on for years. Her family called it an “addiction” that resulted in the removal of multiple rotten teeth and the birth of at least one child lacking tooth enamel; her partner said Natasha Harris suffered withdrawal symptoms if she didn’t drink the stuff. The 31-year-old mother of eight died following a cardiac arrhythmia in February 2010, and the coroner called out Coke in his report, which was released today:
“I find that, when all the available evidence is considered, were it not for the consumption of very large quantities of Coke by Natasha Harris, it is unlikely that she would have died when she died and how she died.” The examination after her death revealed an enlarged liver with fatty deposits due to too much sugar, a pathologist said. Low potassium in her bloodstream may also have been linked to the soda. Harris apparently consumed more than two pounds of sugar and 970mg of caffeine a day; experts say even 500mg is dangerous.
Fox Bites Off Baby’s Finger
guardian.co.uk, Saturday 9 February 2013 22.39 GMT
A fox left a one-month-old baby boy with a serious hand injury after creeping into his bedroom and dragging him from his cot.
Police said they were investigating the incident in Bromley, south-east London, in which the animal tore the infant’s finger off. The child’s screams alerted his mother, who rushed to his room to see his hand lodged “halfway down the animal’s throat”, according to the Mail on Sunday. She is said to have kicked the fox until it let go. Surgeons managed to reattach the finger in an “extremely difficult” three-hour operation, the newspaper reported. The child, who also suffered puncture wounds to his face, was said to be recovering well. The attack happened after the fox entered the house through an open back door, which was apparently awaiting repair by the council.
An RSPCA spokeswoman said the only reason a fox would attack is due to fear. She added: “It’s extremely unusual for foxes to attack young children or anyone. “It’s not typical fox behaviour at all. Foxes will come closer to a house if there are food sources. Then they can become quite bold, but they usually do back off and run away when there are people around.”
GREAT FALLS, Mont. (AP) – February 13, 2013 (WPVI) — A Montana television station’s regular programming was interrupted by news of a zombie apocalypse.
The Montana Television Network says hackers broke into the Emergency Alert System of Great Falls on Monday.
A local television station says on its website the hackers broadcast that “dead bodies are rising from their graves” in several Montana counties.
The alert claimed the bodies were “attacking the living” and warned people not to “approach or apprehend these bodies as they are extremely dangerous.”
The network says there is no emergency and its engineers are investigating.
The Great Falls Tribune reports the hoax alert generated at least four calls to police to see if it was true.
Man Swallows Cousin’s Ear Lobe During Fight, Cops Say
First Posted: 02/12/13 EST Updated: 02/12/13 EST
STAMFORD, Conn. — Police in Connecticut say a city man bit off his cousin’s ear lobe and swallowed it during a fight over loud music.
Officers in Stamford charged 27-year-old Emilio Mendoza with first-degree assault and other crimes early Monday morning in connection with the attack on his cousin, 29-year-old Ruiz Clemente-Perez. Clemente-Perez told police that he asked Mendoza to turn down his loud music because he had to work in the morning, but Mendoza started punching him in the head. During the brawl, Mendoza allegedly bit off part of Clemente-Perez’s left ear and swallowed it. Officers say Clemente-Perez was bleeding and missing part of his ear when they arrived. He also suffered a broken nose and fractured eye socket.
Mendoza is detained on $100,000 bail. It’s unclear if he has a lawyer.
So there you have it. Reading these stories has me questioning the degree of evolution within society. A woman drinks over 800 gallons of highly acidic, full sugar Coke every year, her teeth have rotted out, and her family has the audacity to blame the soft drink manufacturer. In 1980 Lindy Chamberlain claimed “A Dingo Stole My Baby” but no one believed her. With this fox attack, animal rights advocates have declared that foxes won’t attack unless frightened – bet that the one month old victim provoked the fox. Disagreement with a relative? – just chomp off one of their appendages and swallow it. What disturbs me most is the Zombie Alert – I CANNOT believe only four people phoned in to validate the truth of the broadcast when 12.3 million viewers tuned in this week to watch the midseason return of The Walking Dead. A zombie apocalypse early warning system is nothing to take lightly.