Today Was One of Those Days.

We are on the road with the trailer, and as such – lunch was fast food. John pulled into a McDonalds, and I grabbed some cash and went in to order some take-out while he returned phone calls. Once I paid for the eats, I went to put the change into my pocket – except it wasn’t there. Upon closer inspection, it was obvious that my shorts were inside out, but I didn’t think it was overly noticeable so I didn’t worry about it. I figured if this is the worst thing that happens today, I was golden. (Karma was about to bite me on the ass for this optimism)
I was headed back across the parking lot loaded down with the food and drink tray, when a bee landed on my left hand and stung me. I bolted to the truck, attempting to keep my grip on the food, while trying not to terrify the other patrons with my howling. I gave John the grub and showed him the bee sting, which he deemed – nothing serious.
Just as I was about to climb into the passenger side, I noticed something on my seat – a large melted expanse of chocolate. It must have been a piece that escaped from my grasp during my morning chocolate fix. Obviously unbeknownst to me, the candy had wedged its way under my bottom before it began to soften and liquefy – effectively glazing the seat and the back of my shorts. Of course “my person” didn’t notice either of these fashion issues, and I strolled through McDonalds with a chocolate covered (inside-out) butt. Nice.
Cleaning off the seat and my shorts took my mind off the intense burning from the bee sting, but not for long. Once I settled in the truck and we started driving again, I noticed that my hand had begun to swell – especially my 4th finger. This finger was turning a purplish shade as my wedding band was starting to cut off my circulation. Should have been an easy fix – except the ring hasn’t been off my finger in at least a couple of years (too many chocolate binges may have expanded my hands). Anyone who has ever been in a jewellery store and tried on a ring which is just a “bit” tight will know the feeling of panic that I was experiencing. I sucked on the ring trying to get it off, and then fished ice out of my drink to try and reduce the swelling in the joint. The ring wouldn’t budge. Thinking that this predicament called for some serious lubrication – I crushed a couple of French fries and rubbed them across my hand. No go. In desperation, I coated my finger and the ring with my Chap-Stick and reefed the piece of jewellery from my aching finger. Within 15 minutes, my hand had ballooned into an immobile mass.
Stopping for supper hours later, my hand was still throbbing and swollen. The hostess at the restaurant was a cheery one- greeting us with a friendly “How are you all doing today?”
I thought about it for a minute, and quickly decided that this innocent lady should not be punished with my wrath of an honest answer. I shrugged my shoulders and answered “Oh you know, today was one of those days.”

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One comment on “Today Was One of Those Days.

  1. Michelle says:

    I just had to comment today Laurie, bahahaha. I thought I was the only one who experienced such moments. Thank you for sharing- self effacing humour is the best kind (its always best to take yourself down first before anyone else has a chance). As for John, I’m pretty sure Kevin would have continued to rustle around in the McDs bag and told me to suck it up Princess. Wishing you continued safe travels and no writer’s block!

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